LEARNING WHEN TO SAY NO

3 Nov 2012 Ferado

Hello there readers,

It has been a long time since my last post, this is not because of any life changing events or mega catastrophes. I just have been really busy with life and work. I have had a couple of sewing projects that I have had to complete for a few different friends, which has taken me away from creating and writing for Bettiemarie for the past couple of weeks.

I hope to get back into the swing of things in the next couple of weeks, But I am a sucker for agreeing to do/sew projects for other people without thinking it through and before I know it I am really busy doing projects that I probably should not of agreed to because I didn’t take my limits into account.

I have had a think of a couple of reasons why I have a tendency to say “yes” when I should say “no” and mostly it is because I am afraid of being rude and uncaring or make the person feel anger/sadness if I reject them.

So my question this week is: how do you say “no” without hurting other people’s feelings? I have given myself three options in delivering the bad news.

  • “I would love to do this, but…”
    I like this one because it encourages the other party that their idea/request is a great idea, but it also means that I have to come up with an excuse on the spot. I am really bad at that – I need to go away and think about what my reasoning is. And that leads me to …
  • “Let me think about it and I will get back to you”
    This is a great line, It give you time to really think the project through and whether you can do it or not. I would then probably follow through with #1 if I know that I could not take on the project
  • “I am not the best person to help on this, but X probably could help you”
    This option is a great one, because you are not leaving the person high-and-dry, by giving them a contact of someone that could do the job you are helping them along

Now I hope I don’t paint a negative picture of myself and not wanting to partake in helping my friends out, but sometimes we all need to learn give our own needs and tasks priorities – because we are the only ones who have the power to do that.

How about you, how do you say “no”?